Saturday, November 26, 2016

So...Let us start this story...

The holidays are upon us once again and for the first time...I think...I am starting to lose my holiday cheer.  Seriously.  I never thought it would happen to me but life...hard times...kids with their own families...a job I'm not overly thrilled with...and a new husband that I am just not good with...it is all taking me down to bare bones bah humbug.

I love to write and I really have no outlet for my thoughts, emotions, concerns, fears, and yes, a few joys as well.  So here I am, starting over with a new blog, no followers, no plan other than to tell a story.  The world according to Autumn Leaves, pretty much.

I have had blogs in the past, both here and on Word Press, if that is ok to say.  One I wrote in for quite a few years and in fact, just deleted it today.  Why keep it around if I am looking for a do-over?  Story of my life, really.  When the going gets tough, cut and run.  Start over.  Fresh start.  Make the world see a new me.  Lest you think you might try that same life philosophy, let me try to spare you a little bit of pain and expense.  You really can't run away from yourself.  Sigh...alas, truer words never spoken.

So what is wrong with me, according to me?  Well gosh.  You name it.  My mom always told me I am very superficial because looks matter to me.  I can tell you that I was severely bullied for the way I looked while growing up.  The bullying really only lasted for 2/3 of 7th grade, all of 8th grade, and maybe half of my freshman year in high school...but wow!  I was a young girl who grew up to be ashamed of herself for being so hideous looking.  So?  To this day I work really hard on trying to not offend with the way I look.  Could I be one of those secretly photographed Walmart shoppers?  Oy.  I hope not but maybe...?  Anyway, I suppose if that makes me superficial, then I am superficial.  I am intense and passionate.  I have a super soft heart that seems to get stepped on quite a bit.  I am honest.  Animals love me.  Babies usually love me.  I have a good sense of humor and easily laugh at myself...as long as poking fun at me isn't hurtful or mean-spirited.  I am fairly bright but never really found my calling.  It seems I will spend my life struggling financially.  Not good at marketing myself, for sure.  I have been married four times and somehow I screw it up every time.  I have little tolerance for lying, for dirtiness, for addictive personalities, and for bullies that tend to be paranoid (and boy! can I find these guys!).

I usually stand up for what is right, lean toward the conservative side, like to have an occasional drink - usually a glass of wine - but will not touch anything if someone else has an addiction and I am with them.  I don't like to take medications and have no use for pot.  I believe that those that are way smarter than I am knew what they were doing when it was put on controlled substance list.  Watch somebody who uses it and see how they act.  Trust me...I've had my share of over-indulgence when having fun and having a few drinks.  I've made a royal idiot of myself (shame face inserted here) and am mortified to even recall those times.  But I admit it.

I believe that without laws, without values, morals, and ethics, we as humans will decay into anarchy and chaos and selfishness.  Laissez-faire to the extreme.  We're heading down that path, certainly.  Selfishly (ok, we all have those moments), I don't want to be here when it happens.  Scary times.  Parents, it is your job to teach values, morals, and ethics to your kids.  Not the job of the teacher, principal, or the babysitter.  Your job.  What happened to politeness?  Manners?

Ok...I am getting down from my soapbox now.  Also, while I don't have a harp any longer, or the money to buy one...I loved playing.  I love art and occasionally make an effort to paint - usually watercolors.  I knit.  I sew.  I can even weave.  I ride a motorcycle (trying to share my husband's passion) and love the freedom feeling it gives me.  God forbid I hurt myself on it though.

Like all of you, I have my memories, my stories, my beliefs.  My purpose in this blog to hopefully make you laugh, make you think, make you smile, make you wonder...So don't be surprised to see images, maybe some art, some YouTube songs...cause it is the only place I can pull in some romance in my life...

     

6 comments:

  1. I think writing about the good and bad of the past helps in healing and moving on. I've certainly done enough of that with my blog. Now I just want to live in the moment with each post, loving myself and staying positive in the ups and downs of living. I'm sorry you are feeling so blue. May this new year find you at more peace with yourself and life. Wishing you the best. Happy New Year! Yvonne

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  2. Sherry, I found you by chance. I was startled when I checked your old blog and found you'd deleted it. I missed your posts and I'd bet all your old blogging buddies felt the same. I hope you are feeling better when you read this. Maybe if you force yourself to paint every day - even if you only pick up your brushes for 15 minutes, you'll start to cheer up because you love it so much. Anyhow, whatever you do, remember you have a bunch of friends out here. I'm looking forward to your next post!

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  3. P. S. I'm going to follow this blog, but when I tried just now, Jim's name popped up. I'll figure it out. If I can't figure it out, then he and I will both follow your blog:)

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  4. Wow Sherry - so glad to hear from you. It is hard for me to keep up with you sweet friend. So glad you are back to posting. Will be following you. Hugs!

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  5. Sherry, I am so glad you got in contact again. You were really missed. I always enjoy reading your posts and will be following along again. I kept checking the last blog...just in case you reappeared.

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  6. Hi Sherry ... pleased to have found you and your new Blog and I hope that the next year will be kind to you.

    Sue x

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